


Tugging At The Strings

by juiceboxjellyfish



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Actually I take the "minor" back, Happy Ending, M/M, Minor Angst, Misunderstanding, Pining Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Simon is fucking oblivious, SnowBaz, Soulmate AU, The String AU, Watford, it's like average angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-12-25 01:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12024978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juiceboxjellyfish/pseuds/juiceboxjellyfish
Summary: Based on "The String" by Szin.Simon doesn't care about soulmates too much. He's fine with his temporary gilrfriend, Agatha, and would rather not think about it.You'd literally have to grab his string and yank it to get him to notice that you're attached to it.Baz has been dreaming of meeting his soulmate since he was a kid.When he does, nothing happens.Why does Simon refuse to acknowledge that they're soulmates?Does he hate Baz that much?





	1. Soulmates are overrated and Simon is really good at ignoring things

**Author's Note:**

> Wait, what's this?? A fanfic with several chapters??? I didn't know I could write those...
> 
> See the end notes for a link to the youtube video that created this soulmate AU.
> 
> (Also I can't even express how much I appreciate comments, leave a nice comment for me and I will love you forever)

SIMON

Sometimes I think that the food is the best thing about Watford. I always dismiss the thought when I have it, because obviously the magic and my friends are more important to me than roast beef.  
But the roast beef is good. Really good. All the food is.  
We get expertly cooked food several times every single day, and you can eat as much as you want. There is always enough food for everyone, and it’s always great. It’s probably magickal.  
Penny makes fun of how much I love the food, but I don’t care.  
She’s never had to go to bed hungry.

I’m wolfing down the mashed potatoes, and I feel a dribble of gravy running down my chin.  
I wipe it away with my hand, and Agatha frowns at me from the other side of the table. I grab a napkin to wipe my hands on instead, and then smile at her.  
She wrinkles her nose, and I remember that my mouth is full of mashed potatoes.

I look at Agatha’s hands on the table. They’re pale and thin with neatly painted nails, and she has them elegantly folded over each other. She has nice hands.  
They’re so very close to being perfect, but there’s one thing missing.  
The red string that connects everone to their soulmate.  
I can’t see Agatha’s, which means that we’re not soulmates.  
Everyone has a string, but you can only see the one that links you and your soulmate together. If I could see Agatha’s string, we would be the perfect couple.  
I can’t really blame that on Agatha though, I suppose. You don’t choose your soulmate. 

Agatha and I both know that we’re not meant for each other. We’re together anyway, because we like each other and it’s nice to have someone to snog while waiting for your real soulmate.  
This kind of relationship isn’t uncommon at all, especially amongst teenagers.  
People don’t have the time or energy to go looking for their soulmate, so they date someone else for a while, and break up once they find the person at the end of their string.  
The key is to not get too attached to your temporary partner. 

I kind of wish Agatha was my soulmate. I wouldn’t say we’re madly in love, but it works.  
We get along well, we look good together, her family likes me, and she’s over all the exact type of person who people expect me to marry.  
The Chosen One and the prettiest girl at Watford. It would make perfect sense.  
But of course, it can’t just be easy. Because when is anything ever easy for me?  
That’s just not how my life works. 

 

Agatha clears her throat and looks at me, and then down on my plate.  
I don’t know when I finished my food, but I obviously did, since it’s not there.  
We get up from the table and leave the hall. Agatha takes my hand, and I ignore the string that’s hanging loosely from my finger and swirling across the floor to Merlin knows where. 

It’s become easy for me to ignore the string now. I just don’t care. I have to run into my soulmate at some point, and until then I’ll just let it be. If whoever’s on the other end cares, she’ll have to take action. I’m definitely not going to go on some great big quest to follow my string or whatever, I have enough quests as it is. That’s life when you’re the chosen one. 

I wonder how often Agahta thinks about her string. Is this as easy for her as it is for me, or is she just desperately longing for her soulmate to come sweep her away?  
I hope not. I like to think that I’m an alright boyfriend, even if I’m a temporary one. 

As we walk through the halls, I feel a light tug at my string. I tighten my grip around Agahta’s hand and keep walking.


	2. Agatha can't sleep

AGATHA

It’s the middle of the night.  
I hate being up late (I can’t lose beauty sleep!) but I can’t fall asleep.  
I gave up maybe an hour ago, and now I’m just staring at the ceiling. I’m kind of glad I don’t have a roommate, to be honest. It would be even harder to fall asleep if I had to worry about waking another person.   
I wish phones were allowed at Warford. It would help if I could listen to some calm music. Now, I’m just stuck here, alone with my thoughts.

I don’t understand why Simon stays with me.   
We’ve been together for years now, and he’s barely brought up the fact that we’re not soulmates at all. It doesn’t seem to bother him.   
I know that lots of people get in to temporary relationships before they meet their soulmate, but I don’t think they usually last this long.   
Don’t get me wrong, I like Simon. He’s nice and handsome, and we get along just fine. I just can’t help but think that he’d probably be better off with his soulmate. And wouldn’t his soulmate want that too? I don’t see why he thinks it’s better for anyone if he stays with me.   
Well actually, I know one person it benefits.

Me.

As long as I’m dating Simon, I can pretend I’m normal. I can make people think I’m just like them.   
Simon and I haven’t told anyone that we’re not actually soulmates. Nobody’s asked. They just assume that we are, because we make sense together.   
It’s a convincing facade.   
We hold hands in the corridors, we sit together at lunch, we look better than all the other couples at prom… It’s nice, but we’re not soulmates.

Why doesn’t he ever bring that up?   
I would, but then I’d have to tell him the truth.   
And I can’t do that. I’ve never told anyone the truth. They can’t know that I’m not like them.

They can’t know that I don’t have a string.  
That I’m broken. 

If I hadn’t experienced it firsthand, I wouldn’t think it was possible to not have one.  
Everyone has a string, that’s one of the first things your parents tell you.   
They sit you down and go ”you’ve probably noticed that you have a red string tied around your finger. Well, this is why”  
And then they tell you about soulmates. They tell you about how they found each other, and how someday you can experence that, too! All you have to do is follow a red string, and you’ll find a soulmate, and you’ll live happily ever after.  
And they tell you that it’s okay if it takes a while for you to find yours, or if you want to ignore the string until you’re older, but they don’t tell you what to do if you don’t have a bloody string in the first place.   
Because that doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t. Which is why I can’t tell anyone.

They can’t know that I’m a freak.

I roll over so that I’m lying on my side, and I feel a tear roll down the side of my face.  
Great. Now I’m not only sleep deprived, I’m crying too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw no my poor baby :(


	3. Baz deserves better

BAZ

Snow is in the shower when I wake up. I know this, because the room is filling with steam and I can hear the shower running. He really has no concern for my sleep at all.  
The curtains are wide open, and the sun is irritating my skin. I’m pretty sure he does that on purpose. Maybe he’s hoping that sunlight actually does kill vampires if they’re exposed to it long enough. (it doesn’t. Snow knows nothing about vampires.)

I get my school uniform out of the closet, and thankfully it’s not damp from all of Snow’s bloody shower steam. As I put on my trousers, I focus really hard on not imagining Snow in the shower, which would be easier if I couldn’t hear him singing to himself.  
If he wasn’t sharing a room with me, I bet he would put on entire musicals in there, dancing and all. He probably uses the showerhead as a microphone, like a kid. 

I’m just about to reach for my blazer when I hear a muffled yelp and a series of thuds from the bathroom. Before I have time to question what’s going on, something snags my leg and I fall over.  
I don’t even have to look down to know that it’s the string. Of course it is.  
Snow has fallen over in the shower, like the big cluntz he is, and the sudden motion has pulled me down with him. 

Of course my day starts with my string pulling me down and tripping me. It’s like a cruel reminder from the universe that that’s all my life will ever be. This cursed bloody string, tripping me, pulling me in, and wrecking everything in its way.  
That’s all it’s ever done. It’s never brought me even the tiniest glimpse of joy, and it never will.  
What good is a string that connects you to your soulmate if your soulmate wants nothing to do with you? 

People constantly talk about their strings like a glimmer of hope, like a sweet assurance that there is someone out there for them who will love them for who they are, someone who will grab their hand and lead them out of the dark.  
They say that when they look at their string, it’s like someone is looking into their eyes and telling them it’ll be fine. 

For me, it’s more like someone is showing me a room full of riches and glory and everything you could ever wish for, just to slam the door in my face and tell me I’ll never ever be able to enter that room. I’d be happier if I’d never seen the room in the first place. 

When I was a kid, I would constantly daydream about the day I’d meet my soulmate. I went through every romantic cliche you’ve ever heard of, and then some.  
We’d meet, and we’d get married and move in together and live happily ever after, and they wouldn’t care that I was a vampire, and I’d love them so much I wouldn’t even have words to describe it. 

When I told my dad that I was gay, he wasn’t happy at all. He wanted me to give him grandkids, to continue the Pitch family. He knew that vampires most likely can’t reproduce, but hearing that I wasn’t even going to try made him disappointed.  
When he told me I was probably just going through a phase, I imagined introducing him to my soulmate. I imagined him seeing us together and letting go of his impossible expectations.  
It was rough for me, but I told myself it would all be okay once I met my soulmate.  
I would fall asleep with my string twirled around my fingers, looking at it hopefully.  
Everything would be fine when I met my soulmate. 

Needless to say, it wasn’t. 

Snow walks out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. His face is flustered from the hot water, and his freckled shoulder is bleeding a little, probably from the fall. He still has some shampoo in his hair, and frowns when he realises that I totally heard him falll over.  
I grab my blazer and walk out of the room. 

How cruel can the universe be? As if having a soulmate who hates you wasn’t bad enough, I also have to share a room with him! Fuck the Crucible.  
I see Snow shirtless on a regular basis, which would be fucking delightful if it wasn’t for the circumstances. Now it’s just painful. 

I noticed Snow before the Crucible put us together. I remember seeing him on the first day of school. He was confused and excited and probably a little bit scared, and he followed The Mage around everywhere. I thought he was adorable. I pretended not to think so, since he was clearly the Mage’s Heir, but he was.  
Then the Crucible made us roommates, and we had to shake hands. That’s when I noticed his string. I had no idea what to do, so I waited for him to say something, but he didn’t.  
I assumed he just hadn’t noticed, and thought I’d wait until he did.

But several days passed, and the days turned into weeks and months, and he just kept ignoring me. I told myself that maybe he was just surprised I was a guy and needed time to process it all, and I left him alone.

It wasn’t until December, when I overheard him complaining about me to Penelope, that I accepted the truth.

Simon Snow hates me, and he doesn’t care that we’re soulmates. 

Since then, the string has done nothing but hurt me.  
I’ve tried to cut it off (you can’t, the scissors pass right through), I’ve tried to spell it away (that doesn’t work either. The power of soulmates is too powerful, or something), and I’ve tried to untie it. Nothing works. You can’t get rid of your string.  
So now, I just try to ignore it. Emphasis on try, because I’ve yet to succeed. Red shows up quite well on top of grey, and Snow is constantly falling over and jumping around, pulling at it.  
I wear a big, fancy ring on my finger to at least cover the little bow at the end. 

Snow arrives to breakfast only a few minutes after I do. He probably ran.  
He sits down opposite Agatha and smiles at her, and I look down at the table and adjust my ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY SON ;-;
> 
> I feel like this is a completely failed attempt at angst, but please tell me what you think in the comments!


	4. Some more exposition, except it's from Pennys POV now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, check the end notes for an explanation.

PENNY

Simon smiles at Agatha at breakfast, but she doesn’t smile back. She just looks down at her hands and continues eating. She looks kind of tired, like she didn’t get enough sleep. I don’t know what’s possibly keeping her up though, since she doesn’t even have a roommate. There must be something bigger bothering her. I would ask, but I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be too happy about me pointing out her lack of sleep. I hope she trusts me enough to tell me about it anyway.  
Maybe she and Simon had a fight?

Agatha and Simon aren’t soulmates. They definitely want people to think they are, but I don’t buy it. I never have. They just don’t seem like they’re in love. I don’t know who their real soulmates are but they’re definitely not each other’s. Not a chance.  
I haven’t told them that I think like this. If they want to date anyway, that’s their business and besides, it’s not like they don’t know. If you’re tied to someone and you spend time with them, you notice. Likewise, you also notice if you’re not. So I let them be.

I’m glad I found Micah so early. Thinking about who is and isn’t your soulmate must be awfully distracting from important things like school… Though I suppose I still do spend a fairly large amount of time thinking of soulmates, just not my own. Maybe that’s even more distracting.   
However, I think part of it is becuase Valentine’s Day is coming up soon. I’ve been thinking about what to get Micah, and thinking about your soulmate naturally makes you think of soulmates in general. Also, the strings are fascinating. I mean Micah is in America, and yet my string never even feels strained. And when we’re together, the string is just short enough to not be in the way.   
It really is an extraordinary piece of magic. The fact that only you and your soulmate can see and touch it is also interesting. How can something be incorporeal and fully touchable at the same time? Amazing. 

Agatha leaves the table way before Simon is done. His plate still has half a mountain of food on it when she gets up, and Simon never throws food out. She doesn’t even look at him when she leaves, and in fact I don’t think she’s said a word to him since he got here. He looks at her as she walks away, like he’s considering going with her, but then he just shrugs and continues stuffing his mouth with sour cherry scones. Some crumbs fly from his mouth and land on my plate, and he looks at me apologetically.   
Sometimes I really want to break those two up. It’s what would be best for both of them! They’re clearly not that happy together, and they could pursue their soulmates. Everyone involved would be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short and kinda crappy chapter!! I've beeen busy with schoolwork and also had to attend a funeral, which was pretty draining. I hope I can update more frequently from here and write longer, more eventful chapters.
> 
> As always,comments are very much appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> The String: https://youtu.be/5GrV4-SoAo8


End file.
